Relationships: Working With…Not Against

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Are you a good partner in your relationships? In the month of February we usually think of one special love in our life, but what about all of our relationships?

There are many different kinds of people in the world. We don’t all think alike. Where some are extroverts others are introverts; some are happy go lucky whereas others are serious perfectionists; some are nurturing where others are demanding. No one is right. No one is wrong. All just express themselves in their own way.

As a martial artist, you strive to create balance and harmony in your life. You work on your weaknesses so you can grow. As long as you are not going to leave society and go live in the woods, isn’t it a practical skill to be able to get along with all kinds of people? To accept and work along with instead of against?

Just as all things change, relationships do too. Nothing is static.

With true love there is acceptance. There is room for growth. Although the mind likes security and for things to stay as they are, this only leads to pain. With pure love there is no pain.

Where there is fear or jealousy there is no love – only attachment.

True love gives without expecting anything in return. Love is not negotiable.

“Don’t give your attention to what others do or fail to do; give it to what you do or fail to do.” Buddha

You only can control what you think and do. Accept others as they are. When the mind is clear the heart can open. Then there can be true love.


Originally Published February, 2005 under the title “Think On This…Relationships”




Shifu Ahles
Shifu Raymond Ahles, the owner and Chief Instructor of the Blue Dragon School, is a certified instructor of Ba Gua Zhang Kung Fu & Chi Kung and a 7th Generation Lineage Disciple in the Ch’iang Shan Pa Kua Chang Association. In addition to his 30 years plus teaching experience in the martial arts, Shifu Ahles also holds a B.S. degree in Exercise Physiology, he’s a Certified Strength & Conditioning Specialist (CSCS) and has an extensive background in the healing arts of Oriental Medicine including certifications in Advanced Amma Therapy, Chinese Herbs and Acupuncture. He is a licensed Acupuncturist and Chinese Herbalist in NJ.




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