Winners and Losers: The True Measure

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It’s an interesting concept, that we all seem to have some way to judge if someone is a winner or a loser in life. Maybe you look at those who are poor or live in bad neighborhoods compared to those who are wealthy, driving fancy cars and living in the best neighborhoods. The doctor or lawyer compared to the custodian or waitress. Or do you judge based how a person looks?

Eliminate all your preconceived ideas and realize this: there are winners and there are losers in every field, in every income level, and in every neighborhood. It has nothing to do with what was mentioned above. Hopefully, after reading the following brief areas of importance, you will be able clearly see the difference, know where you stand, and make changes if you are not where you want to be.

First of all, a true winner is an optimist. He or she fully believes that things are going to turn out for the best. The winner might say, “I had a good day today, tomorrow will be even better.” While the loser might say, “With my luck, I‘m bound to fail.”

A person usually gets what he or she actively expects. If you believe things will go well then they most likely will. But if they don’t, a winner will see it as a challenge to overcome or learn from. The loser will whine and complain about nothing going their way.

The winner knows how to look for the good in everything. The loser will always find the bad.

When a winner finds something that he or she wants to do, whether it is an activity that is good for them or something to pursue for personal growth or knowledge, he or she will say, “I can!” and find a way to do it. The loser will look for all the excuses about it being too difficult or find that there is no time and say, “I can’t” as if they have no choice. “I have to” and “I can’t” are common words out of the mouths of losers.

When going after a goal, the loser focuses on the penalties of failure. The winner focuses on the rewards for success.

Losers try. Winners do.

Winners see their life as an ongoing process of changing, growing, failing, learning and achieving. Losers accept their hangups, faults and excuses as unchanging parts of their life and say things like, “That’s just the way I am, nothing I can do about it.”

Losers will always find someone to blame for why something didn’t go their way. They don’t accept responsibility for themselves. They’ll sue at every chance they get, looking for the “break” they think they deserve, and trying to get something for nothing.

“If it’s to be, It’s up to me.

Winners will always accept responsibility for their actions. They will work for what they want and know that there are always obstacles in the way of their goals. When something goes wrong they adjust and continue—not expecting someone else to take care of it for them. They believe in things like, “If it’s to be, it’s up to me.”

So which one are you? If anything here offended you in some way then maybe you need a little self-reflection. Criticism only hurts when it’s true.

When someone asks you, “How’s it going?” Do you say, “I’m hanging in there” or “Just getting by”? Then ask yourself if that is all you want, to just get by.

No one can tell you what you should want or need. Only you can decide. Be the optimist. Be a winner!

Originally published July, 2000 under the title “Winners and Losers”





Shifu Ahles
Shifu Raymond Ahles, the owner and Chief Instructor of the Blue Dragon School, is a certified instructor of Ba Gua Zhang Kung Fu & Chi Kung and a 7th Generation Lineage Disciple in the Ch’iang Shan Pa Kua Chang Association. In addition to his 30 years plus teaching experience in the martial arts, Shifu Ahles also holds a B.S. degree in Exercise Physiology, he’s a Certified Strength & Conditioning Specialist (CSCS) and has an extensive background in the healing arts of Oriental Medicine including certifications in Advanced Amma Therapy, Chinese Herbs and Acupuncture. He is a licensed Acupuncturist and Chinese Herbalist in NJ.





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